After I finally got all the shit off the PC with manual registry hacking and setting dll permissions to "nobody is allowed to touch this ever" and rebootings into safe mode and bootings into NTFSdos and every other trick in the book (I deleted 185 files from c:\WINNT alone) he asked me what the problem was, so I explained. One of the first things I'd noticed was the presence of every spywared-up P2P client known to man... and this wasn't the first time for this particular family, although this infestation was certainly the worst.
So then I got the INCREDIBLY DUBIOUS pleasure of being asked to give the half-hour-long "RIAA will fuck you even if the spyware companies don't" lecture to his incredibly, incredibly hot 18 year old daughter in the amazingly low-cut blouse. While she sat on the couch looking up at me defensively. While the rest of the family looked on and interjected the occasional comment.
I have to go get drunk now.