Zen Bastard (jimbojones) wrote,
Zen Bastard

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Honto ni, Buraun-san wa dame desu yo

In my Japanese class, each chapter of the textbook has a dialogue we have to translate and copy over three times. These dialogues are, basically, the ongoing adventures of Mr. Brown, an American who has moved to Japan. Usually, he is speaking to his friend Tanaka-san, but occasionally Yamada-san makes an appearance as well / instead. But the main character in these little skits is always Mr. Brown.

Brown-san is the most annoying motherfucker ever.

If Brown-san and Tanaka-san had their gakki-shiken (final exams), Tanaka-san will ask Brown-san how he did, and he will - guaranteed - have done extremely well. At which point Tanaka-san - also guaranteed - will disconsolately state that she flunked hers for sure. If there is studying to be done, you can damn well bet that it's Brown-san who has the master plan, and Tanaka-san or Yamada-san will be asking if they can go to the library to study with him. Weekend trip? You guessed it, Brown-san already has a fabulous expedition to somewhere or another planned, and poor Tanaka-san will be left saying "oh, that sounds like so much fun..." and waiting hopefully for Brown-san to condescendingly offer "oh, wouldn't you like to go too?"

In today's dialogue, Brown-san is going to Kamakura to see the Great Buddha, and scope some old temples, and then he's going to the beach. As usual, Tanaka-san makes puppy dog eyes at him, at which point he invites her, at which point - naturally - she starts going apeshit about how she'll make him sushi for lunch and buy him drinks and etc. When she asks him if he has a camera, naturally he not only has a camera... but it's an expensive, brand new camera. And of course he'll bring it, for his good lil' buddy Tanaka-san!

I have come to loathe Brown-san. He is an insufferable pompous jerk. On my third repetition of copying this crap today, I found myself changing her side of the dialogue.

Brown-san: "Issho ni ikimasen ka?" (wouldn't you like to go with me?)
Tanaka-san: "Iie, anata wa dame desu yo. 'Burichi' o nonde kudasai." (No, you are [definitely] a bad person. Please drink bleach.)

I have officially been reading this shit too long.

Tags: vignette

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