Zen Bastard (jimbojones) wrote,
Zen Bastard
jimbojones

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harnessing the power of ridicule

I and several coworkers have decided that we could all stand to lose a few pounds, and have therefore devised a new game, which we are entering into this week. We call this game "Fattest Fatass."

The format is much like that of the TV show "Biggest Loser", in which whatever lardass contestant sheds the highest multiple of their own fucking body weight wins. Only, that's too positive for us. Instead, we are working from the same sort of perspective a rational person uses in case of shark attack: you don't have to outswim the shark, you just have to outswim the guy next to you.

So, in Fattest Fatass, we weigh in once every two weeks, and whoever has lost the smallest percentage of their bodyweight is officially the Fattest Fatass for that period, and has their name and title posted on a whiteboard of shame for all to see. At first, we thought we might not have a whiteboard available. "We can put it on the website for all I care," Trey said. This of course digressed into daydreaming about links there from the New Employment section. "Are you a disgusting tub of fucking lard? Would you like to be publicly ridiculed for it? Come work at [marine civil engineering firm]!"

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