Turns out the plates on the van were stolen off of it in its lot about ten days ago. The van itself was stolen tonight.
Thumbnails above are all clickable. Brief synopsis: guy turns off the road, drives the passenger side front of the van hard into the house side of the big oak in my yard, spins around clockwise and slams the driver's side into the oak on the fence line, and the van spins counterclockwise around that tree to take out my fence section and the street signs. You can't really tell from these pics, but this guy could have spun the van right into me sleeping in my bed if he'd hit the big tree at a different angle. As to why he drove off the road at high speed and into my yard in the first place, we won't know unless the hounds catch him. Preferably by biting him in the nuts. Hard.
Hopefully Tropic-Aire's insurance will cover this shit because I really don't want to be out the hefty deductible from my homeowners' insurance.