November 7th, 2007

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12:06 pm - dreamswtflolBBQ
In a dream last night, I enrolled in some kind of fucking dating camp. Yes, dating camp. It was this bigass weird complex somewhere off in a boonies-ish chunk of one of the development-has-passed-me-by industrial-wasteland sections of town, about 20 minutes from anything worthwhile, and you went there after work instead of going home. Like every day, for a few weeks or something. And you slept in a barracks and had a communal dining hall and there wasn't a whole lot in the way of scheduled activities or structure - apart from the mess-hall type dining thing - just that you were in this giant group of people in a setting with little to do except socialize. (On sober and awake reflection, it occurs to me that this actually would probably be a considerably more productive way of matching up adults than most of the alternatives.)

Mixing in an element from one of my most common recurring dreams, of course I had forgotten that I had paid for this thing and was supposed to show up, and had forgotten how to get there, and had to look it up all over again and figure that out and bla bla bla. But that was over with pretty quickly. A footnote.

So here I am in this Gormenghast of meet-new-people-or-else facilities, and a big knot of people - I don't know, probably 20 or 30 of each gender - is just sort of hanging out in an impromptu line in some hallway. Leaning against the wall, or whatever, basically guy-girl-guy-girl. And at first I think, well, these girls aren't so bad - at first glance they all look reasonably attractive if uniformly unimpressive, all dressed in a pretty flattering way - but they're getting WAY too much in my personal space. Like my little dog does when I'm eating pizza on the couch. HEY I AM HERE I'M NOT YOU KNOW BARKING OR WHINING OR ANYTHING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION BUT SEE THAT CUTE LITTLE FACE LIKE THREE INCHES FROM THE TIP OF YOUR NOSE YEAH THAT'S ME.

And then, although they initially all looked basically okay, on second look I notice that there's something really weird with every single one of the women. Like... a lot of them are pretty much microcephalic. Or there's just something really, deeply weird about their figure - like, the kind of gut a male construction worker gets. Stuff like that. The guys... are all acting like they're in high school, although they're all age 25-35 or so. I mean really acting like high school - somebody even keeps roaring through the fucking parking lot in an '82 Camaro. What the fuck. I am not comfortable here.

After that - still at the dating camp - I witnessed a murder. Either performed by the dude with the '82 Camaro, or else his ride got jacked by whoever did it, because they, well, roared out of the parking lot in it after killing the other dude. Then in a big group of people waiting for an elevator somebody delivered a thunderous roundhouse slap to the back of my head anonymously, and I got pissed off even more about it because when I turned around there was a FUCKING COP grinning his ass off and he wouldn't admit to having seen it happen. Bizarrely, the cop looked just like Clarence from Boston Legal. So I roughed up the cop until he admitted who did it (and collared him).

The weird thing? I'm pretty sure I've had this dream before and just never remembered it. It had that "oh, fuck, not THIS again" feel to it. Well, the dating camp part in general. Not so much the murder and the roughing up the cop thing.

It does not take Sigmund fucking Freud to analyze this dream. I hate "dating". Sigh.

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Current Mood: avoiding vector calculus
Current Music: Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon - It Ain't Me Babe

(14 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture] From: lisa_e_is_me
Date: November 7th, 2007 - 05:45 pm
I'll bet you were pretty psyched when you realized you had a reason to use the word 'microcephalic' in an entry. I would have been!

[User Picture] From: lauracroft
Date: November 7th, 2007 - 07:27 pm
yeeeech, sorry, dating does suck. You knew (of) me when I was single, but did I ever tell you that I met my husband thru eHarmony? Random fun fact. Ah dating...for a while there I started joking (with some seriousness) that my love life exists primarily for the purpose of providing my friends with entertainment. Good Times!

[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: November 7th, 2007 - 07:50 pm
no, I had no idea. eHarmony's always kinda seemed like "the creepy Christian dating site" to me. I mean, I know it says something about basing its matching on christian ideals or something; because that was the excuse its creators used to explain why they won't match homosexuals.

From what I understood, they also wouldn't list atheists. Is that not the case?

[User Picture] From: lauracroft
Date: November 7th, 2007 - 11:12 pm
lol, I don't know about any of that nor have I seen anything about religious affiliation, but I know they don't do same-sex matching. I didn't know it had gotten any kind of rep as a Christian dating site. In fact, all dating sites I'd seen were either "Find True love" (insert picture of super-slut) or "Find Christian Couples in your area" (insert picture of super-slut dressed like frigid church-goer). Ok, that last might be exaggerated, but barely. BTW, I'm not Christian... they didn't ask anything having to do with religion that I can remember...

The shrink from eHarmony has been doing relationship counseling for 45 years and he has a whole rating system of compatability traits; he says happily married couples are matched on 20 of the 29 characteristics. I did the free personality profile (not some simple thing - 30 minutes just to do it) and I'm skeptical about silly tests but it was pretty dead on so I tried the site. Now I'm not shy and I've met guys everywhere (work, auditions, clubs, parking lots!, online) but I personally liked eHarmony and stuck with it for a while (I didn't find him right away) because although none of the guys I met were a decent match for a while, their characteristics were closer to what I was looking for. They were consistently intelligent, on par ya know, active, interesting, etc., whereas meeting guys from the general public often brough up guys with serious flaws. So I liked the prospects I got and supplemented my normal dating with eHarmony guys. :)

That's just my opinion and of course I have a good opinions 'cause my husband rocks! I have a friend who didn't like it as much... but she's not successful at dating in general and would eliminate guys for wierd quirky preferences, such as a wierd name. How can you expect to meet anyone if you pick off the prospects left and right because they happened to be named Hezzikiah? Whatev.

p.s. I must admit, it is pretty darn neat being with someone so incredibly compatible. Who knows if it was the science or fate via the website, but I'd never even CONSIDERED marrying someone before. But with this guy, it's fun! (been married 2 years now)

[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: November 7th, 2007 - 11:23 pm
Huh. Interesting. Maybe I'll give it a shot.

I've done a fair bit of online dating with kinda mixed results. Seems like mostly it's either girls who think they need to figure out whether you are their soul mate or not before you ever actually MEET in person (hello, retarded, that doesn't work) or else have some really bad decisionmaking abilities. Like girls who are actively planning to leave the city they're in ASAP, but are looking for long term relationships. In the city they're desperate to leave. Wtf?

Match in particular is also, I am not gonna lie, full of women who look ten years older than they ought to. Sigh. What's up with the big hair and frumpy "nice" clothes... if you would look hotter in a raggedy t-shirt and off-the-rack jeans than you do in the outfit you're wearing, THAT'S A BAD OUTFIT FOR YOU. No matter how "nice" it is. Ditto the big plastic hair.

[User Picture] From: lauracroft
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 12:44 am
I know whacha mean. I played with some of the free online dating sites, and they SUCKED generally. Not only is there no good system to filter ideal matches from the general public, but on top of that, since you're online you don't even know if they're hot! (or if there is *any* chance for attraction) At least if you meet the wrong person in person, you know if you wanna see them nekked! lol

As for eHarmony, hell, it can't hurt. Plus you're a smart guy. I think you might come across what I did and appreciate the difference between dating girls that are smart and not bums (even if they're not the match for you) as opposed to the rabble you may encounter otherwise. That's awful about the women looking 10 years older. I'm 31 now (if I remember, you're in your 30's too?) and for us I think it's important to find people who didn't let themselves go completely. I never told you but from your pic I think you are cute so yeah, you wouldn't match a frumpy gal. One other thing I found pleasant was very few of my matches had extra weight. That may seem shallow (yeah I want a guy who is hot) but also I'm very active and wouldn't have much in common with a couch potato. Happily, one of the compatibility traits is energy/activity so a lot of the guys were in shape/active/cute. :-)

From: (Anonymous)
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 01:34 am

[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 03:32 am
Awwwww. =)

[User Picture] From: lauracroft
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 05:16 pm
He and I have never met but I believe it. He is cute/smart/funny. I especially like the funny part. :)

[User Picture] From: thejeer
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 02:43 am
I think you shouldn't limit your dating pool by gender. Who knows, you might really dig man-love!

[User Picture] From: clme
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 02:59 am
Seems awfully convenient that jeer is newly single and moving into your neighborhood, doesn't it Jim?

[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 03:31 am
Define "convenient."


[User Picture] From: thejeer
Date: November 23rd, 2007 - 06:55 am
Phhhht. Even if I were gay, I think I can do better than Jim.

[User Picture] From: zeldappa
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 03:41 am
This idea of dating camp amuses me so much. How about dating rehab? ... You could probably seriously make a lot of money if you started up a dating camp (minus the death).

[User Picture] From: museumfreak
Date: November 8th, 2007 - 06:03 am
i hate both vector cal and dating!

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