Zen Bastard (jimbojones) wrote,
Zen Bastard
jimbojones

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thanksgiving: a success

Most of you are celebrating Thanksgiving wrong and don't even know it. It turns out these are the key elements of a successful Thanksgiving celebration, in no particular order:
  • alcohol
  • burning furniture
  • firearms
Check, check, and check.

At least, that's the tradition amongst my adopted-extended-family-in-Columbia, and I certainly approve. And I gotta tell ya: the only thing more entertaining than watching girls attempt to fire a 12-gauge while bent nearly double backwards at the waist - and no, I'm not kidding - is when one of said girls decides that in the attempt to avoid bruising her shoulder, she will instead snug the shotgun into her right breast before firing. And the only thing more amusing than that is the unalloyed outrage her mom exhibits immediately after said bright idea, when said (young teenage) girl howls, grabs tit, and begins massaging it in an extremely blatant, I-don't-care-HOW-this-looks-my-tit-HURTS! kind of way.

Yes, once again, Thanksgiving in Columbia was a success.

note: all pics clickable. (not pictured: a bunch of other people, a chocolate lab, two shotguns, a skeet thrower, beer, food.)

L-R: Tommy, Mike (note: thrown horns), Tallulah.

L-R:Em, Tallulah, Em's Mom (begin jokes: NOW), Tommy.

CHAIR.


Also noteworthy: Molly met Tallulah (the yellow lab in the pix above: 10 months, 75 pounds or so) the night before Thanksgiving. Tallulah has all the patience, common sense, and self-restraint of... well... a 10-month old yellow lab. (Read: plays rough, enthusiastic, and non-stop.) Molly gave her all she could handle for three freakin' hours, and loved it. Tallulah made her yipe a couple of times (got her in the ear, I think - Molly's got a sensitive ear) but Molly'd instantly get WAY up in her face, dead silent with teeth bared like "I may be small but I will fucking CUT YOU bitch", and Tallulah would instantly back down - at which point Molly'd wag her tail and crouch down playfully and they'd go right back to playing again. Noteworthy comment by Mike: "Fighting possums and shit in the woods must be better training than growing up in Emily's house." I tell ya, there is just no way I could possibly be happier with that little dog. She rocks.

Tags: vignette
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