December 7th, 2007

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07:00 pm - on the topic of high-beams (no, not the "is she cold?" kind)
I have a pretty standard response to people who weld themselves to my ass with their brights on:

1. say unkind and possibly untrue things about their ancestry, their chromosome count, and their sexual habits
2. reach up and adjust the rear-view so as to bounce their high-beams right back in their eyes

The typical response is either to flick the high-beams off (hey, thanks!), immediately shift lanes while keeping the high beams on (if that's in my blind spot mirror now, guess where THAT gets aimed next, fuckhead?), or drop five or ten carlengths back... while keeping the high-beams on. Once I even got a REALLY special contestant with an older car who held the lo/hi toggle switch down manually, in order to light up BOTH sets of filaments for the ULTRA high-beam... which, of course, went right back in his/her own eyes courtesy of my rearview. Congrats, a winnar is yuo.

The response tonight was a new one, though. Suburban Mom actually followed me into a grocery store parking lot to berate me for how "unsafe" it was for me to shine her own brights back at her. Seriously. I boggled. Then I started laughing. Which pissed her off even more, as she couldn't figure out why I was laughing. Until I asked her how it was "safe" for her to shine those brights in not only my eyes, but those of every single oncoming car in traffic, but "unsafe" for me to shine those same lights right back at her.

"But... but... but... that's different!"



(5 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture] From: lisa_e_is_me
Date: December 8th, 2007 - 04:49 am
Wow. That's just crazy. And you just know when she left afterward, she not only kept her brights on but also immediately started calling people on her cell phone to tell them what an asshole YOU were. Did you happen to see her license plate? She sounds like a Georgia driver. Maybe she was just passing through on her way back to Gwinnett county, which is where the drivers get really super extra noticeably bad when I'm driving back home from Charlotte.

I do the same thing you do, shine the lights right back at them. They usually end up passing me, while leaving the high beams on, and just zoom up on the ass of the next unsuspecting driver ahead, oblivious to the fact that they are supreme dickweeds.

[User Picture] From: clme
Date: December 8th, 2007 - 12:00 pm
I hate people.

I do practice the mirror behavior, as a matter of fact. I've even managed to get people to turn their headlights OFF because even after they turned off the brights their regular lights were still reflecting back :-)

Have you ever had someone get even closer so that their lights cant reflect off your mirror? With my old car I used to slow down when people pulled that shit on me. It would freak them out a bit since... well... obviously they weren't very good drivers to begin with. (For my part I just didn't care about my old cars).

One time when I did that I actually had one guy then zoom around me and slam on his brakes. I changed lanes. He almost got hit by the car that was behind me :)

I think I've told the story before about coming to a complete stop on the interstate because some tailgater wouldn't pass me.

Then there are the big lift-kit trucks that are too high for you to hit their windshield with the mirror and their lights actually glare off of the INSIDE of your windshield. Sometimes they dont even have brights on, but are driving with either off-road or fog lights turned on. Other times they just have the headlights aimed poorly in an attempt to compensate for the lift kit. Regardless, the only hope I have with those is to hit them with my blindspot mirror.

I've never had anyone chase me down afterwards. Were they from New Jersey?

[User Picture] From: perich
Date: December 8th, 2007 - 11:46 pm
reach up and adjust the rear-view so as to bounce their high-beams right back in their eyes

Ooh, that's a new one for the arsenal. Thank you!

[User Picture] From: thejeer
Date: December 9th, 2007 - 03:56 am
I drive a car and any time some douche in a truck or jeep or anything taller than my car gets close enough to me that his low beams are in my eyes, I do the mirror adjust thing. I also like to gradually slow to a meandering crawl. Fuck those assholes. I hate every other driver and consistently imagine every other car as a smoldering heap along the wayside.

[User Picture] From: theonyx
Date: December 13th, 2007 - 12:11 am
That's a special kind of stupid right there.

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