March 10th, 2008


Previous Entry Next Entry
jimbojones
02:10 am - JESUS CHRIST IT'S A PIG, GET IN THE CAR!
pantsnotneeded and I went hiking out at Congaree National Park today, and ended up doing TEN AND A HALF MILES. Holy fucksticks. We hauled ass pretty well, too, clocking in at 3.5 hours versus the 5.0 hours estimated on the map.

But more importantly - we saw a freakin' WILD PIG on the trail...! This guy was RIGHT ON THE TRAIL and eyeing us a little belligerently. He's a bit bigger than he looks at first glance in the picture; I'd say about lower-thigh-height on me (I'm 5'10) and built like a little freaking tank. When he skittered irritably a couple times in the underbrush you pretty much felt the impact from the hooves; I'd say he was probably somewhere between 80-100 pounds. At first we thought he was a wild dog - the sun was in our eyes - and I thought "man, that dog has his head awful low... that's not good..." and then I heard ripping, tearing noises as he tossed his head a little and thought "that's REALLY not good" before realizing that it was vegetative ripping and tearing, not meat, then I got a little better look at his outline, and Chris and I pretty much simultaneously realized "that's not a dog."


(click for higher res)

Neither of us had ever encountered a wild pig before, and truth be told I might almost have preferred the dog - I know how to fight a dog; fuck if I know how to fight a pig. They don't seem to likely to present themeselves for a knee to the jaw, or as likely to be fazed by it if you did... but, you know, basically when it comes down to it anything smaller than you generally knows it and would prefer not to get hurt, so in the end I just sorta walked up slowly talking to the pig so he'd know I wasn't trying to sneak up on him. Worked well enough, he was way more concerned with Chris sneaking by while I took pictures than he was with me taking them.


(click for higher res)

Later on, we saw a ton more of them to one side of the trail or another - usually entire sounders, most of them noticeably smaller than this guy. The last sounder towards the end of the day had a couple monsters in it, though, including one big all-black boar who looked to be pretty easily half again the size of our friend up there.

At one point, I also saw a freaking ENORMOUS white-tail deer go bounding across the path 40 or 50 yards ahead of us, but he was long gone before I could even think about trying to get a picture. Chris was looking off to the side and never even saw him.




(click for higher res)

Here we have Chris, almost certainly contemplating murdering the tourists ahead. Why? Well, it's just what he does. Best to roll with it. Questions are for the weak.





(click for higher res)

WTF is this thing? I dunno, but I am relatively sure Wookiees built it. I was alert for possible ambush by bowcaster. We got by without incident.





(click for higher res)

Random canoers.





(click for higher res)

Tree cancer is no laughing matter. Do you have a bark-colored ribbon pasted to the back of your car?





(click for higher res)

Chris, doing some kind of bizarre "fear me for I am Lex Luthor" flex move. I have no idea why and am pretty sure I didn't even know I was capturing this on film when I did. May or may not be related to, or be taking place during, the moment in which he inquired after borrowing my swiss army knife so he could cut "stink holes" in the armpits of his sweater.





(click for higher res)

Yo!




(click for higher res)

Chris has lost three oxen and fifteen pounds of flour. He is sad.


 
Current Mood: accomplished

(10 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:



 
[User Picture] From: pantsnotneeded
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 06:25 am
  (Link)
Always pay for the ferry. Fording the river always ends in tears. Also, dysentery.


 
[User Picture] From: freakout
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 01:26 pm
  (Link)
A wild pig? wtf is this, Lord of the Flies? Also, fording the river almost always causes death to either a member of your party or an animal. Just shell out the money for the ferry! It's only $5, christ.


 
[User Picture] From: lisa_e_is_me
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 03:22 pm
  (Link)
Holy shit! Ten and a half MILES?!?!?!?! The idea of setting forth on a hike that long would scare me more than the pigs. Of course, I'm sort of an idiot when it comes to animals, and have a tendency not to fear them properly, so I likely would have tried to pet them. Because all animals need to be petted, even if they want to maul me.

Yesterday was a beautiful day, I'm happy you were able to get out and make the most of it. Maybe you should take Molly with you next time...she could totally save you from killer pigs and rabid deer!


 
[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 03:24 pm
  (Link)
Yeah, we didn't actually intend to go that far but we took a different trail than the one we'd intended. I don't regret it!

I tried to convince Chris "you need to give the wild pig pets and loving." He wasn't having any of it.

I don't think the pig would have, either. And good lord that thing was a tank.


 
From: mostlyfakinit
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 03:32 pm
  (Link)


 
[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 03:39 pm
  (Link)
Actually fat is exactly what I'm NOT calling that pig. When I say it was a "tank" what I mean is I don't think there's any part of that pig that I would want to hit with any part of me.

If it ain't muscle, bone, or hooves you ain't finding it on that pig.


 
From: jeepgeek
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 06:44 pm
  (Link)
Good thing he wasn't in a surly mood- little fuckers are downright nasty when they get going.

Damn shame you didn't have a bow on ya. You could be having a pig roast this weekend :)


 
[User Picture] From: sanityescapesme
Date: March 11th, 2008 - 04:16 am
  (Link)
I second that...they're despicable sons of bitches, and they can mess ya up somethin' good...

-R


 
[User Picture] From: zeldappa
Date: March 10th, 2008 - 11:41 pm
  (Link)
I seriously would be up a tree if I came across a wild pig out on a trail in the woods. Yikes.

Also, what are Wookiees? Are they like Ewoks? My sci-fi/movie knowledge is failing me at the moment.



 
[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: March 11th, 2008 - 05:05 am
  (Link)
Chewbacca was a Wookiee.



 
[User Picture] From: theonyx
Date: March 12th, 2008 - 02:24 am
  (Link)
...and he lives on Endor!

That does not make sense!


> Go to Top
LiveJournal.com