June 6th, 2008

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09:04 pm - humility
So, as isn't really all that uncommon, I went book-in-hand to my favorite little hole-in-the-wall Thai/Vietnamese place for some Tom Kha Kai and some sake (yes, out-of-genre I know, but I love hot sake) and some jasmine tea and some fuck-off-humanity.

And all was well until this foursome sat down at the table behind me. They were fucking horrific, especially this one chick who was sitting directly behind me. She held down probably 75% of the four-person NEVER FUCKING ENDING conversation, and I shit you not every single sentence she uttered followed the intonation pattern "duh-duh-DUHHHHHH, duh duh duh duh, duh, DUHHHH!" with every single syllable she ever uttered - for a solid hour - being dragged across the back of her throat.

I'm not sure how else to get that across. I could do a wicked impersonation, in person, but across the internet the best I can tell you is that every word she uttered, she said from the back of her throat. It's a peculiarly trying-to-be-high-class kind of intonation. Either you know what I'm talking about or you don't, but if you don't, if you could only hear it you'd understand immediately. It's like that.

So anyway, I'm trying desperately to ignore this entire table full of horrid, entirely denigration-of-others conversation. The worst offender in particular starts to declaim upon ex-boyfriends; she starts talking about her first boyfriend "but I can't even REMEMBER, his NAAAAAAAME!" and I desperately want to strangle her but want more to not know she's talking. To just. Read. My fucking. Book. And I'm thinking, you know, I have a tendency to be... a little sour. A little superior. A little denigrating. And especially lately, I catch myself doing that, and I think how much am I pissing off the people I am hanging out with? And I hate it and I try to fight it. And this bitch is sort of like that, only THE BRAKES ARE ENTIRELY OFF, and every word out of her mouth is self-superior denigration of everything she ever talks about AND I WANT TO KILL HER. And the entire rest of the table isn't any fucking better.

I order another sake, and it doesn't help, so I slam it the fuck back along with the pot of jasmine tea I ordered with it and I get the hell out of there. And I look back, and I realize, that entire table of people - that foursome - each and every one of whom is UTTERLY FUCKING HATEFUL, is only two goddamn people. And I shudder, and I think "jesus fucking christ, for all my faults, I hope nobody thinks THAT badly of me," - in particular, a certain couple of people I haven't been the sweetest around lately, through no fault of their own - and I get the hell out of there.

And make damn sure to (continue) be(ing) very, very friendly to (and leave a good tip for) the waitress/proprietor, who I see very frequently, who I hope to fucking hell thinks better of me than she does of those god damned harridans. Shudder.

Note to self: find SOME god damn way to be, SOME how, nicer. And more positive. In general, in particular, and in every fucking way possible.


Current Mood: horrified
Current Music: Atmosphere - Shoulda Known

(8 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture] From: lauracroft
Date: June 7th, 2008 - 01:44 am

Although u have a cynical side, I seriously doubt you're anywhere near the vicinity of that girl although people who know you in "reality" can assure you better. As for keeping perspective to be calm and kind, I love the book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff". I don't know if it sounds cliche, but it has short chapters that have something you can practice for a day or for a week and it really does help to sweeten life and bring out my good side. So for your note to self, this may help. Otherwise worry not I think. :-)


[User Picture] From: thesadpunk
Date: June 7th, 2008 - 02:20 am
Cynical is one thing. DU-DU-DUNNNNNNNNN is a competely different story. It's more, affected. You can be honest and cynical at the same time- but telling stories simply for the "DU-DU-DUNNNNNNNNN" factor isn't humble in the least- you're trying to gain an audience, probably even telling white lies to do so. Just my two cents.

Even if you are a Debbie Downer, your musical selection for this post is excellent.

[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: June 7th, 2008 - 02:44 am
Thanks Dave.

[User Picture] From: discogravy
Date: June 7th, 2008 - 08:48 pm
no problem.

[User Picture] From: lindapendant
Date: June 7th, 2008 - 12:40 pm
I really feel for ya here. Honest.

you need to get laid

[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: June 7th, 2008 - 02:05 pm
Well, yes.

but I didn't know it showed that badly!

[User Picture] From: lindapendant
Date: June 7th, 2008 - 07:54 pm
I have an uncanny ability to sense when a guy (and everyone in his way) will benefit greatly from a satisfying screw.

I live with someone just like you.

[User Picture] From: surrealestate22
Date: June 11th, 2008 - 06:53 am
heh. i'd be right next to you slamming sake as well. yeesh.

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