March 14th, 2009
|jimbojones||12:52 pm - NO I DO NOT WANT GODDAMN FRIES WITH THAT|
Bought a couple of PS3 games yesterday at the GameCrazy near my work. Jesus fucking christ I am sick of the "add-on" business model - car dealers want to pitch you on an "undercoating", electronics stores want to push their "protection plan", game stores want you to buy a fucking hint book - shit gets OLD. Odds are good, if you are forcing your salespeople to push it hard during every point-of-sale transaction, I DON'T FUCKING WANT IT.
Anyway. It was worse at this GameCrazy than it usually is most places - this kid with the half-shaved, half-long-and-dyed head like an 80's punk rocker was pitching the hint book, the CD scratch protection plan, the pre-order for the next game, AND the mvp member blah blah blah club with EVERY. SINGLE. TRANSACTION.
So I got up there, made some chit-chat about the demo video of Bloody Roar they were playing (old, shitty fighting game - imagine if Tekken had been conceived by a bunch of furries, and you'd pretty much have Bloody Roar) while he's ringing me up (and asking for my phone number - christ I hate that. STOP DOING THAT, retail, it's fucking invasive!). And then he starts in on the four different pitches, and I'm like no, the ONLY thing I want are those two games, no add-ons. He starts in on the second pitch. No, no, no. The third pitch. Nope nope nope. And he actually gets PISSED OFF. He says "You aren't even going to let me finish? That's pretty rude man."
Now don't get me wrong - I understand that employees HAVE to ask you all this crap. I know about mystery shoppers, I know that managers watch store video, blah blah blah - which is why I am SMILING when I say no, no, no. For christ's sake dude, it's not like I am dehumanizing you, I started that pointless convo about Bloody Roar prior to all this right? It's not even like there is some awesomeness in your pitches that I maybe JUST NEED TO GIVE A CHANCE and suddenly HOLY SHIT I TOTALLY WANT THAT, because guess what, there was a line! I heard EVERY SINGLE ONE of those fucking pitches when you delivered them to the LAST guy!
Anyway, I'm not going back to that place again. GameStop is shitty too, but at least they hold it down to only one or two pitches per transaction, and their clerks have been a lot more livable since they instituted the mandatory one-hot-chick-behind-the-counter-per-shift rule a year or two ago. For some reason, the presence of the hot chick calms down the uber-dorks who normally man the store - they don't fawn all over you and try to be your friend constantly when Hot Chick is in the store... even though they don't fall all over Hot Chick either. Weird.
Heh, I totally relate. The last time, on Pitch#2 I smiled and said, "Not even a chance." The pitches stopped.
If you think gaming is bad, you should try bridal. I went to David's bridal to look at dresses and they actually DO NOT LET YOU TRY ON DRESSES UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFO. Granted, I could do what I do with the retail game and hand out fake info but I thought it was bullshit. I don't agree with how they capitalize on a girl's BIG DAY and make a huge industry out of it by pressuring people in a vulnerable moment. I don't believe in a 10k wedding day. And I knew the MANDATORY info was so they could batter me with all their promotions and partners. I was like Christ, I'm asking you to spend several hundred dollars or more on a dress and you tell me no, not if I don't sign up to 1,000 sales pitches first?
So I went to a small bridal store, found a dress that was no longer in production but happened to fit me perfectly. Originally $1100, I got it for $189.
I know bridal stuff is not a man's fav subject but I think it epitomizes the retail games. Instead of "do you want fries with that" it's "do you want diamonds with that?"