Last night I dreamed that I was a teenager again, and that I had an older brother. We were on some kind of screwy football team in high school, with a coach who kept advising us to bang all the (female) reporters who apparently wanted to interview us for the local papers. They were real sluts, and, apparently, wanted some kind of scoop badly enough to be perfectly willing to fuck their way through as many high school football players as necessary along the way.
Also, we were living with grandparents who turned out to be undead. They were feeding us human flesh to turn us into ghouls. And, apparently, the grandparents were going to kill us before the transformation was complete, and feed on us - only I ran away and turned myself "all the way" undead first. By RIPPING OFF ALL MY REMAINING LIVING FLESH. Ha ha, creepy undead grandparents, I win! I think.
I have got to find out what the hell the wife is putting in my drinks. And ask for more of it.