February 27th, 2003

somber

Hibernation

For quite some time now, my libido has been in hibernation. Oh, there have been brief periods of roaring, pawing, mauling wakefulness when some unwitting soul stumbled into its cave - but it knew damned well it was still winter out, and settled comfortably right back into easy slumber as soon as the interlopers were dealt with.

Unfortunately, the damned thing's fully awake again, and is leaving the cave and peering about in the sunlight, blinking and rumbling discontentedly. And I don't know what the hell to tell it - "go back to sleep, fucker, winter's not over yet" doesn't really seem to be an option.

So here I am sitting through uncomfortable days of constant thoughts of holding somebody intimately and smelling their hair, and their skin, and knowing the taste of them, and all the little ways they react, and wanting more intimacy than a quick sexual fix - the proverbial interloper stumbling into the cave - will provide, and all I can think is "god damn it, did I really need all this wanting again?"
  • Current Music
    Jolene - Pensacola