I never thought it would happen, but Laura and I are broken up. For real. Finally.
Part of me is very sad because I wanted it so much. But most of me is just glad that finally, finally, FINALLY our interactions - what of them there are - are honest again. She isn't in love with me. I can accept that. I've been suspecting it for... way too long now. What I really needed was not to pretend to things that weren't there any more, but instead to bring what is out, and to look at it, and nod sadly over it, and put it away again. I just wish the honesty hadn't taken this long; it certainly made things a lot harder than they had to be.
Well, work calls. And I have, unfortunately, been neglecting it somewhat. Talk to you later, internet.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. What a day.
Sarah, who I've known for about three or four months I think, called me hysterical and crying, not a single fucking hour after my last post. She's been living a really fucked up life here; she came to this town chasing after a boyfriend that things didn't work out with, and wound up trying to keep it together living in weekly motels with a big white cat named Cotton on phone center money. Something happened, she can't take it anymore, she's come unglued, and she's desperate to get home. This, honestly, works out kinda well for me, in a fucked up way, because she's been making it obvious that she likes me for a while now, and there's just no chance in hell even if I wasn't all fucked up over Laura. And honestly, I'd been a little worried that the temptation of what I could have - even if I didn't really want it - being right there when what I couldn't have... well, my sentence structure is starting to get as fucked up as my love life, so let's just say I was worried I'd do something really stupid and fuck my life up worse if she kept calling. So I polished up my shiny armor, got on my white charger, went down there to pick her up and hear her story, and I took her to the Greyhound station and bought her a ticket home.
So that's two crying little girls I've assisted out of my life today. One who I wanted very badly, and one who I never really wanted in the first place. And the fucked up thing is, the one that never told me a single lie is the one I never wanted to begin with.