February 21st, 2008

laser + squirrel = SCIENCE!

It's always Caturday on the Drunkternet!

So, it all started when pantsnotneeded started fucking with my FreeBSD wiki. "Do not fuck with me, for I admin your internets," I said. "Hah, you think you could stop me?" "Yes... yes I could. For a beginning."

So I started fucking around with proxies, and quickly discovered that most of them really won't *do* what I want them to do - fuck with people, that is. The guy who did the upside-down-ternet was close, but to be honest while I found his inspiration to be divine, his method was crude to the point of active pain: he wasn't even REALLY proxying stuff, he actually had a script in the background downloading images, saving them, fucking with them on the hard drive, then serving THEM off of... yeah, you don't care. But, I knew I could do better - rather than saving stuff and screwing around on the command line, I wanted to edit the TCP stream live, just like the xkcd comic. Only without the oven mitts.

A day later, I'd learned a fucking ton about proxies in general, the Perl HTTP::Proxy CPAN module more specifically, and I finished my project: the Drunkternet, where it's ALWAYS Caturday. I originally intended to inflict it on pantsnotneeded just before heading out to work - without comment, and without any way to avoid it - but his hard drive crashed this morning, so I figured he'd had enough of a bad day and just showed it to him instead.

But maybe you've been having a better day than he has! Feeling brave? Or maybe, just too goddamn sober? Either way, set your browser's proxy setting to port 3128, and get on the Drunkternet!

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Shoutouts go to the Upside-down-ternet guy (for a large part of the original inspiration), Psyci from the Pen forum (who originated the sine/cosine derived "bob and weave" routine used by a lot of the elements), and Thomas Cattimus (who is showing your sorry ass how to WIN).

(obligatory disclaimer: the Drunkternet is currently limited to 30 concurrent clients, so if your internets quit working after you set your proxy, just set it back and try again later. the Drunkternet may also not function at work, depending on how hard-ass your office's network security is.)