August 29th, 2003

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10:14 pm - I fucking hate people.
I'm getting soft, people. I went out to my car this morning, in my usual morning mental fog - foggy enough that it wasn't until I opened the door and sat in the car that I realized that my seat was in the wrong place, which confused me, and not until then did I notice the great, gaping cavity in my console and the shattered glass strewn all over my backseat. And what was my first, my immediate reaction? Anger? Hatred? A sinking feeling related to the financial aspect of it? Raw disbelief that even though I had less than $350 sunk into the stereo system in a NEON that gets parked next to a State Trooper's cruiser every night, I apparently needed a car alarm?

No, my fucking feelings were hurt. Don't get me wrong, after I had a few seconds to get used to the situation, I got over that and just deeply, deeply wished I could have caught the little bastard at work and done something that, sadly, would probably have gotten me in jail on assault charges. But the first reaction was a hurt "... but why?"

I guess what it boils down to is that I've been pretty comfortable for quite a while now. It's been a few years since I lived in a headspace that includes people scratching hard enough that they don't indulge in the luxury of thinking of people as people. The kind of world that not only factually but implicitly includes feral packs of punk kids who roam apartment parking lots and don't give a fuck if they do over $800 worth of damage just so that they can - maybe - get a $50 return out of it at a pawn shop, or $70 if they hustle the stolen CD player themselves on a streetcorner.

This is the kind of shit that turns people into Republicans.
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: Amon Tobin ft. MC Decimal R - Verbal

(2 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture] From: ravenword
Date: August 29th, 2003 - 07:30 pm
I actually had a really similar reaction when my car was vandalized last year. Perhaps even MORE so, since they didn't even take anything -- my purse was in there, but untouched. Somebody just wanted to destroy part of my Ferris Buick for the hell of it, and smashed one of the windows one night when it was parked in front of my house. (We assumed it was some bastardy kids who'd been bothering my brother.)

A mentally sniffly "what did I ever do you YOU?" followed by a desire to kick some nads.


[User Picture] From: lauracroft
Date: September 2nd, 2003 - 08:45 pm


Hug for Jimbo. Sorry. People are mean, and it's good you're still human with feelings instead of jaded and turned into one of them.

This brings up a memory though: last time I had my car broken into, I got the police officer's phone number! heh heh

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