June 14th, 2004

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12:42 am - The Chronicles of STFU
P33T and I went to see the Chronicles of Riddick tonight. Unfortunately, what was already a crappy movie was getting made even crappier by some chick on the other side of my row. Every... single... TIME Vin Diesel did anything at all, she yelled "YEAH!" or "DAMN!" and laughed in that really irritating I-want-the-whole-theater-to-know-how-cool-I-am laugh. Finally, at one otherwise-quiet point in the movie, I bellowed "shut the fuck UP!" back at her in the old parade-ground drill sergeant voice. (I don't use it that often, but I've got a REALLY good drill sergeant voice.)

Naturally, she didn't shut up. But she was so noisy to begin with that she was actually unable to maintain any more noise than she'd already been making, so what the hell, nothing lost. She kept talking a bunch of intermittent shit about white people and getting fucked up, especially when a group of black people (who clearly didn't know who the hell she was) walked in front of the row we were on.

After the movie, she stood around with her three tiny homies in the hallway on the way out of the theater, still talking non stop about how she didn't know who it was that told her to STFU, but it had to have been a white boy, and he wasn't saying shit now, and blah, blah, blah. This is about a 35 or 40 year old woman, mind you! Anyway, I looked over without breaking stride on my way by, made eye contact, smirked, and said "yeah, probably was a white boy," and kept on walking - and she was so non-plussed that the best she could come up with was "yeah, a big hunky-dory white boy"... and deafening, confused, helpless silence for a good 10 seconds afterward.

I'm guessing "hunky-dory" is going to be a moment she looks back on and cringes over for a good week or so. =)

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Offspring - Pretty Fly For A White Guy

(4 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture] From: bitchness
Date: June 14th, 2004 - 12:23 pm
Hehe... I went to see it yesterday. I liked it... mostly because Vin Diesel was hot. But the effects were decent, the plot was ok, and I enjoyed watching him run around covered in glistening sweat. Yeah.

And man, I thought hunky-dory meant 'ok' or something... was the woman on crack?

From: cpf
Date: June 14th, 2004 - 01:34 pm

Re: My comment is about your icon

I like the icon.

From: ex_severus678
Date: June 14th, 2004 - 11:11 pm

roll on

i had a very similar experience at harry potter the other day, which goes something like this:

we showed up at 2.20 to see the 2.35 show. reasonable enough, right? well, our fatal mistake was not realizing that we had gone to see it on the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL here in washtenaw county. the place was just PACKED with 'tweens and teens. we had to buy tickets to the 3.00 showing because the 2.35 one -- a slam-dunk matinee, 364 days of the year -- was sold out.

so long story short, the theater is FILLED with these little fuckers, and the little quintet behind us had this weird competitive "i-know-what's-going-to-happen-next-and-also-the-stupid-little-things-that-will-be-wrong-with it" competition going on.

we didn't tell them to shut the fuck up. but i did glare at them, which seemed to make one of them uncomfortable. but i don't know that i have much standing to harass children at harry potter movies. i kept guilt tripping myself for hating on them, trying (unsuccessfully) to remember what i was like at that age so i could figure out whether they were extraordinarily obnoxious or just fucking kids.

in conclusion, that movie sucks.

[User Picture] From: jimbojones
Date: June 14th, 2004 - 11:34 pm

Re: roll on

Heh, the little kiddies (and aging kiddies) packing the theater when Laura and I went to see the midnight opening show of PoA weren't that bad - their main fault was a near-universal tendency to titter hysterically at everything, whether it was funny or not, presumably to display what True Fans they all were. (Which I found pretty weird, given that while the movie had funny spots, I DON'T see it as being intended as a comedy...) It was almost like the movie had a laugh track.

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