Zen Bastard (jimbojones) wrote,
Zen Bastard

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The Chronicles of STFU

P33T and I went to see the Chronicles of Riddick tonight. Unfortunately, what was already a crappy movie was getting made even crappier by some chick on the other side of my row. Every... single... TIME Vin Diesel did anything at all, she yelled "YEAH!" or "DAMN!" and laughed in that really irritating I-want-the-whole-theater-to-know-how-cool-I-am laugh. Finally, at one otherwise-quiet point in the movie, I bellowed "shut the fuck UP!" back at her in the old parade-ground drill sergeant voice. (I don't use it that often, but I've got a REALLY good drill sergeant voice.)

Naturally, she didn't shut up. But she was so noisy to begin with that she was actually unable to maintain any more noise than she'd already been making, so what the hell, nothing lost. She kept talking a bunch of intermittent shit about white people and getting fucked up, especially when a group of black people (who clearly didn't know who the hell she was) walked in front of the row we were on.

After the movie, she stood around with her three tiny homies in the hallway on the way out of the theater, still talking non stop about how she didn't know who it was that told her to STFU, but it had to have been a white boy, and he wasn't saying shit now, and blah, blah, blah. This is about a 35 or 40 year old woman, mind you! Anyway, I looked over without breaking stride on my way by, made eye contact, smirked, and said "yeah, probably was a white boy," and kept on walking - and she was so non-plussed that the best she could come up with was "yeah, a big hunky-dory white boy"... and deafening, confused, helpless silence for a good 10 seconds afterward.

I'm guessing "hunky-dory" is going to be a moment she looks back on and cringes over for a good week or so. =)
Tags: triumph, vignette

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