So, a few hundred bucks of hardware and a few hours of labor later, ph34r's reincarnated as a fully 64-bit FreeBSD 5.2.1 monstrosity. Good god that thing is ridiculously fast. And yes, being about 5 years ahead of Microsoft's power curve does, in fact, give me w00d. But that's not the dork moment - the dork moment is that P33T decided to refer to operating the machine as "hittin' switches in tha six-fo'."
And I laughed, and decided to use a server case that I had lying around that had accidentally gotten shipped with a side and top acrylic window that I didn't order... that way, I could be hittin' switches in my drop-top six-fo.
P33t remarked "you know, Jim, we laugh, but in some ways we're really pathetic." But when it comes right down to it... I'd much rather do this than actually roll around Compton in a 40-year old Chevy with goofy-ass wheels and hydraulics while trading ill-aimed potshots with my peers.
It's all good.