Music:the sound of any remaining respect my friends might have had for me draining down the toilet
A friend of mine suggested writing about this, so writing is what I will do.
You cannot tell someone that you love them when you feel that you "can't have responsiblity" for how your words and actions make them feel.
You cannot even be someone's friend if you aren't willing to feel "responsible" for how your interactions with them make them feel.
You cannot tell someone that you still really want a future with them when you are utterly unwilling to even attempt to have a present with them.
If you break up with someone, and you don't want to take them back, you are absolutely fucking obligated to allow them to get over you.
There are two possible descriptions for the action of telling someone you just dumped - who isn't speaking to you - how much you miss being in bed with them. One of those descriptions is "an attempt to get that person back." The other is "selfish cruelty." You have to pick one or the other (or both) - there is no third option.
There are also two possible descriptions for publicly telling someone how much you miss being in bed with them, when you know perfectly well that someone else you've been telling how much you miss and love and want a future with is reading it. One is "selfish cruelty", and the other is "selfish negligent cruelty."
Very soon now, some of my real friends will actually demonstrate the fact that they care about me, by tolerating my emotional basket-case-itude while getting me incredibly drunk.
jimbojones) wrote, 