(while staring INTENTLY at the two chicks seated behind him): "Oh I know why the lights are off, SO WE CAN PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!"
(in response to a chick making fun of him): "Dude I'm totally gonna be in a rap video! I need a rap name though. I was gonna use '2 Short', but somebody told me that was taken."
(regarding our instructor): "She's hot! But she's kinda plain, so she wouldn't cheat on you."