"Oh, man, you drink rum and coke? I can't do that. When I get around the Captain I do dumb shit, like trash cans get set on fire and stuff."
"And tequila, oh man, tequila... that's just bad, I get cold stupid when I drink tequila."
"And vodka, oh my god, vodka's bad, man, that's just bad, you can't expose me to vodka, it gets stupid."
... and I'm thinking, dude, don't front, you get retarded when exposed to air.