One of the things we had to do today was each of us had to eulogize another, who was in their turn to eulogize us. We were SUPPOSED to have gotten together or emailed one another with pertinent life details to make this easier, but as of 10:30PM last night, my partner had not done so... so I went for the comedy option instead.
Friends, Gamecocks, students... lend me your ears. I come not to praise Shafen, but to bury him. I cannot praise him because I don't know enough about him. Who was Shafen Khan? All we know about him, we know from Speech 140: He was a man who asked endless questions about GB dot net (a fansite for a semi-obscure actor our instructor was obsessed with); a man who gave up drinking mid-semester but still couldn't get up on a Saturday morning; a man who played a lot of Xbox, but who answered few emails. As we know little about his life, we know little about his death; only the midgets know what really happened, and they're not talking. So let us wish our mysterious classmate a peaceful rest, and plenty of Xbox in heaven.It was well received. =)